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Deliberate Orgasm


Deliberate Orgasm (DOing) is by agreement two people putting their attention on one person's body for the purpose of creating and experiencing the optimum amount of pleasurable sensation. DOing offers a method of producing orgasm in a woman's body through manual stimulation of her clitoris. Manual stimulation is the best way to achieve this because your fingertip is a precise touching instrument that you have more control over than any other body part. More than just a technique, DOing is an art that requires two people who are willing to have fun and pleasure as the goal, to communicate about what they notice and what they are feeling. Deliberate Orgasm is a sex act in and of itself. As an addition to your sex life it will enhance all other sexual and sensual experiences.

The standard model for orgasm in our culture is a male model of building tension and going over, with the goal being the release at the end. This release signifies the end of the sex act. On the other hand, pleasure oriented orgasm is based on the female model, where the goal is to enjoy each stroke as a complete sex act, taking pleasure in the whole experience. It is a dome shaped orgasm with many peaks along the way.

A pleasure oriented orgasm can apparently take infinite forms. One time it could be a meandering walk through the park and the next long high peaks, or fast peaks up and then good solid slow grounding ride down. The possibilities are endless. DOing is an intensely pleasurable form of safe sex that provides a foundation to having a fun sex life.

Communication is an essential part of Deliberate Orgasm. In DOing, we communicate to ask for what we want and find out what our partner wants in a way that has both parties win. Communicating about what feels good and what each person is experiencing before, during and after enriches the experience. Talking in this way takes the mystery out of sex, which lets face it, there is already enough of that.

Relaxing is also key to expanding your orgasm. A relaxed mind and body can feel more. As blood and oxygen flow through your genitals and to your outer extremities, so can sensation. We recommend that women train themselves to relax their genital region through an exercise called pushed-outs. Relaxation is just as important for the DOer and there are several recommended DOing Positions which allow for both relaxation and easy communication with your partner.

Once a woman's genitals are properly engorged, there are places inside her vagina that can be pleasurably stimulated.  Not just one spot, but many that we call Thunkspots.  The engorgement allows for easy access to these spots and for light pressures to stimulate the internal structures and nerves of the clitoris.

Masturbation is another fun way to explore and learn about your body and what you like. Using the DOing technique while masturbating with the focus being on building pleasurable sensation rather than getting rid of it can expand your orgasm. Knowing what you like makes it easier to communicate to your partner in a winning way. This is a great way to take care of your body and have pleasure be a part of your daily life, and is an excellent time to re-train your self to relax by using push-outs.

Submitted by The Welcomed Consensus, 2005

The Welcomed Consensus is a group of seven friends who formed a partnership offering videos and courses in sensuality, communication, friendship and female orgasm.

Copyright 2005 - 2008 Clitorian